The Girl Who Was Not Supposed To Exist

Her creation unplanned
born of drunk passion
and faulty protection
one late Seattle Christmas
Eve in 1976, party glΓΆg flowing
guzzled down throats
steaming up hearts
desires and instincts
took control of hosts
and half of her future self
shot through weak rubber walls
determined to meet its
other mate, that lone egg
nothing could stop her
from being conceived
seed planted, future seen
she misbehaved from the start
broke the rules, braved it all
saw all possibilities as truth
inextinguishable fire of life
unfaltering belief
living life like it was meant
to be lived, in totality
fully felt, no inch unexplored

no color not painted
no flavor not savored
no vista not viewed
no music not heard
no heart not loved
no love not pursued
no word not expressed
no chance not taken

The girl who was not
supposed to exist
in this life or any

Existed the hell
out of the one
she was given


~ by Emily Clapper




43 thoughts on “The Girl Who Was Not Supposed To Exist

  1. This is what I like to see rousing positivity. It’s a really fun piece, brilliant story and great message. Though it doesn’t overtly challenge you as the reader to follow in the footsteps it’s a slow build of inspiration that girl who wasn’t meant to exist lived life why don’t I who was chosen to exist.
    I’m enjoying the list of ‘no’s, was that influenced by the leftovers you said you had in ‘Constant’ or just a style choice you quite like?

    (oh and I would have guessed ’86 πŸ˜„)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Cameron. Always love your feedback! This was written back in April, so it was before Constant. So, I guess it’s just a way I write? πŸ™‚ And thanks for that flattering guess. A nice early birthday gift…I accept. πŸ˜‰ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ahahaha, I have a terrible memory so I’ll only ever remember the guess and conveniently forget fact. “I reject your reality and substitute my own” πŸ˜‰πŸ˜„
        Oh really back in April, were you saving it for closer to the ‘big day’?
        I do love the way you write as I’m sure you can tell from the commenting I was just curious after you mentioned leftover ideas the other day. Wonderful style nonetheless and such a lovely poem 😊❀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks, Cameron! πŸ™‚ No, I also posted it in April when I wrote it, but I was feeling inclined to repost it. I do that sometimes depending on mood. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you, Cameron. I hope to try for a couple more hours of sleep to start off! 6:50am and I’ve been awake for an hour…sigh. 5 hours will not cut it. If all else fails…caffeine. πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, M πŸ™πŸΌ Definitely one of my internal conflicts…the fact that I exist at all when I theoretically shouldn’t. And what that means about my reason for being… πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’š

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful poem Em ! Is it your birthday today ? πŸ˜‰ I was reminded of this quote by the poem and you, β€œThe only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” ― Albert Camus. You are a living example of that quote, so Three Cheers for you Em! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, lovely, Addy. I believe I’ve read that one before, and love it! Thanks for the reminder. πŸ™‚ And not, my birthday is in September. I’ll let you do the math. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s cool! I am spontaneous to the core! Often I don’t know where I’m going until I get there!! That’s sometimes the best part. πŸ™πŸΌπŸ˜Ž

        Liked by 1 person

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