They Say It’s Your Birthday

Oh, birthdays.

A new number, a new trip around the sun. A shitty summer. Hung on by the skin of my teeth. Still hanging on. Feverishly packing and looking for rental houses, among other life challenges. I choose not to talk personal personal details here, this is public after all. But, it will all smooth over in time. Right now is pure chaos, however.

My 30s were full of amazing life events and milestones and challenges overcome. I have a feeling my 40s will offer new versions of these things.  My health is not back 100%, still battling some instability due to migraine vertigo issues, but I am at the very least not as acute as I was, and heading in the right direction, generally speaking.

Today, I’m getting flooded with love and messages via text, FB, WP, and it’s all very lovely.  Multiple friends have offered to take me to lunch.  I have turned them all down.

I am craving silence and solitude.

It’s an overcast day.  I’m sitting with my favorite chai at my favorite cafe, and will probably go for a walk to clear my mind, get some exercise.

And then…back to packing and house hunting.

I think I will plan to make up for my birthday later with a dinner out with friends and loved ones.  I had dreamed of celebrating in Italy.  That will have to wait.

I’m feeling a bit at a loss for poetry today…I’ve been so preoccupied mentally. But, I’ll see what I can do later.

Thank you for being awesome, I truly appreciate all of you!

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37 thoughts on “They Say It’s Your Birthday

  1. Happy Birthday! Things will get better. Until then, it’s a learning experience of how to be a better person/how to better cope with life.

    I tend to look at birthdays as the end of a cycle of energy. Just before one, you’re out of energy from the “ending” year X age, and then afterward, your energy’s back from the start of your “new” year of X+1 age.

    Stupid, I know, but it’s what keeps me going sometimes. Anyway, I hope it’s a sane day amid the madness, everyone deserves that on their Birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy Birthday, Em! I’m glad you got time to relax. We all need that. Don’t worry about celebrating- you have plenty of time for that. You got your chai and a nice walk, your spankings(come on! That’ll be the highlight of your day. Spankings from Mr.M. Mmm) 😉😋 I hope you have a lovely afternoon, lovely girl. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Vic! Yeah, I don’t have a lot of time to sit and mope as life keeps barreling on, but I’m so grateful I have you and everyone here as my buoys keeping me afloat. Much love 🙏🏼💜😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We are grateful to have you and your lovely spirit too. And I have hope that the spectacular next year you will have will completely cover over this less than stellar one you are on your way out of. 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I read this and a line out of song comes to mind “It’s my birthday and I cry if I want to…” And any other day, it’s your f*cking right to cry if you want to!
    The next two years will still be about transition, (phases of zeven years) but then dear dear Emily, you will look back knowing you made the right choices.
    Big hug, XxX

    Liked by 1 person

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