Corrosion

 

 

Corrode my soul, eat it alive
reroute my arteries to the outside
skin me from my muscles clean
paint over in black my spirit’s sheen

Your poison festers with rancidity
flesh-eating virus you are indeed
take all I have and that’s not enough
my mind is blank, my love is cuffed

You slithered your way in, vile designs
nothing but your own desires in mind
lying my bare being on sacrificial stone
you feast on me whole, bury me alive

I see piles of bones of those before me
stacked in careless heaps of warning
I should have seen them on my way
when you lured me to your demon den

Now all I have is an empty shell
where once my colors radiated well
there you go…my blood dripping from chin

you burp up my heart

…and start over again

 

~ EC

5.15.16

 

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53 thoughts on “Corrosion

    1. We learn things from all our interactions in life, don’t we? Applying it is the hard part. This is a fair representation of what it’s like to be the victim of narcissistic emotional abuse. It is never the victim’s fault, although they are often brainwashed to believe so… Narcissists are emotional vampires who take kind people and destroy them to suit their own twisted needs. I speak as a survivor of this type of abuse, but I know others out there also are in a dynamic like this and can relate, so I speak for them, too. 🙏🏼💜

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes it sounded like you what you are talking about. Often the victims do not realize that they are victims, since they are made thinking they are wrong. Your poem is a powerful eye-opener.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Exactly, well put. It’s like being outright conned but you don’t realize it until it’s over because their facade of lies deceived you for so long. And thank you, I really appreciate it!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I like your spirit evolving but cannot bring myself to like this poem. It reminds me of a poem I wrote once called Body parts and I no longer write from that place. It is a New Dawn soon. Be well

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      4. Thank you for the feedback, Geetha. I wrote this back in May. It is not my current state of feeling, it is mostly that I have been reflecting due to the nature of our current government situation, and so narcissistic abuse has been brought back to the forefront. I wouldn’t call it “likable” in content, but I hope that the writing quality can be judged on its own merit. 🙂 I am doing fairly well considering the challenges of this year. I hope you are also well!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I am doing well thank you Em. The year is yet to begin, tomorrow. A New Year in all aspects really. I feel that one important lesson to learn about abuse is that not only we allow it when it is happening but we also allow it when it is no longer happening physically because we let it stay in our memories together with the feeling it brings. We don’t need to erase the memory but we definitely need to erase the feeling that was associated with the abuse because it is the feeling that allows the abuse to continue on an etheric level. The one who wants to heal needs to let go of the etheric hurt too, not just the physical and psychological hurt. As for your writing it is always good. From my side I like based on content, form and spirit. Be well Em.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I certainly agree with that perspective. The problem is that our country is now being abused and manipulated by a psychopath, and so it is fresh new abuse on a daily basis. So, I draw on my experience having been a victim before to express the feelings I have now regarding our current situation. The bonus is I now know what I’m dealing with and can view it much more clearly whereas I couldn’t before until I was out of the relationship. My hope is that this experience will enlighten those in relationships with narcissists so that they can break free…I’m hoping that is the blessing in disguise. As for my other experiences, I went through the whole emotional process, and part of that includes writing. There is no skipping steps, and everyone’s recovery is on a different timeline. It cannot be forced. And thank you, I appreciate your support for my writing. I am always in awe of yours. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Great poem! You are correct narcissists are vampires. Human beings who lack empathy and whom have never matured beyond childhood to think of anyone else but themselves. …Even for the mature, it is so easy to revert back and be an emotional vampire at times.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellently put! It is a personality disorder that no amount of therapy can fix because they don’t see anything wrong with themselves, and they learn to bullshit therapists. Clearly, I’ve done my research and self-reflection after having been a victim…something a narcissist is not capable of (self-reflection, that is, and not to be confused with their own admiration for their reflection!)

      And good morning from Seattle, Malakhai. Where are you located?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Em, Good Morning to you! Late to bed and early to rise I see, if you are in Seattle. I am in Wisconsin. More specifically, Milwaukee. I love your city though. Been there several times. And just about each time, I caught nothing but sunshine. The landscape is beautiful on a sunny day.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh my goodness! My parents are from Eau Claire, WI originally! My brother was born in Madison, before they moved to Seattle where I was born. I’ve spent much time visiting family in Wisconsin and we still have an old rustic family cabin in Chetek, in the north woods. And yes, Seattle has incomparable natural beauty and much less rain than people think. 🙏🏼💜

        Liked by 1 person

      1. It started out as it initially appeared to be a crime perpetrated against her, but somewhere along the way I thought the better ending would be that his narcissism and hubris got him eaten by her. Whereas she appeared weak, she was really the stronger one.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I appreciate the sentiment, Em. I really do. It was an overall bad experience and it caused me to self reflect, learn, and grow as a person. Nay bad at all, from the perspective. I didn’t step in the same shit twice. Lol. We continue to step in the same shit when we don’t learn – universal law #345 – repeat lesson (Made that up obviously 😉 )

        Liked by 1 person

      3. As a survivor myself, I totally understand. The scary thing is that we can learn, and we can *still* be victims of narcissistic abuse because they are that good with their false charm. Always mindful…says this yoga teacher.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Powerful! I don’t know if I’ve ever been with a narcissist but I have definitely been taken advantage of because I always see the good in people. I have such a hard time hurting people I love, even if it’s to save myself. And I think I am not exactly clear on these narcissistic behaviors. I think I need to look it up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I am a wealth of information on the topic having researched it for about a year in depth to help with my own recovery so I can certainly advise you on books and articles. You are an empath like me. We are perfect bait for the narcopath (narcissistic psychopath).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. You know, I had no clue empaths even existed until i joined wordpress two years ago. I spent my life hating that I felt “too much.” Now I am learning to put myself first when needed and to not apologize (or berate myself) for my feelings. It’s a process. One I hope to get better and better at.
        I’d love to read something if you have a recommendation. Thank you. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Brutal truth there Em! A painful and emotionally draining experience to be caught up in. And difficult to pull away from for an empath it seems.
    That was so powerful, thank you for sharing it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow I love the imagery building in this. It’s devoid of any kindness, the language is built to evoke repulsion, it’s such an indictment of the worst of people. Those who burrow into our lives and take, till you’re a husk of what you were. Drained by someone who never really cares for more than them self.
    Truly brilliant!

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