Rang Dead

I wait just inside the cemetery gate
a lifetime short and a day too late
the mist rolls over unshorn green
that crawls in waves, spirits unseen

Your name freshly carved in script
on a tombstone glittering granite
I trace cold rock with my warm lips
wishing to drink you in ethereal sips

But dry as the bones of your body
this crypt is nothing but empty
like my heart that leaked all its heat
with each pulse of your slashed veins

No amount of my love was enough
to stop you from ending yourself
I could not fix your chronic pain
nor save you from your own disdain

If you only believed me, my love
if you only believed in your worth
all too evident in my green eyes
you could not convince me otherwise

As the crows perch with knowing
on the treetops under sky snowing
I sang to you our song in blue notes
that rang dead in the moonless night

~ E

9.23.16

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44 thoughts on “Rang Dead

  1. Oh Em, this is it. The aching song I’ve not been able to hear clearly but has gnawed at me ever since. The one that tells the story of those I lost at their own fucking hands. This is it – brilliant and bitter both. I love you, lil sis. Words heal me when I can find them. Thank you for being the willing vessel to pour them out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for his heartfelt comment, Rita πŸ™πŸΌ I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this but I’m so glad my words can be of any service to you. See my reply to Meg below as well. Love you πŸ’œ

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Painful and raw, and beautifully expressed. I’ve never lost a friend to suicide… unless you count the slow kind one inflicts on themselves through substance abuse. I am sorry for your pain, my friend. Love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m touched you like it, Meg πŸ™πŸΌ And honestly, I haven’t lost a loved one personally to suicide but know of those who have, and do have cause to wonder myself if I will someday. But this expression of loss can be a metaphor of the death of someone literally or figuratively. And thank you for the love, I’ll take it as I do feel the emotions behind this one. Love back! πŸ’œ

      Liked by 2 people

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