The Watchers

Russian, on the trails.
In the fields, Spanish
To my right. German
To my left. Somewhere
Else, unintelligible due
To distance and the wind
Distorting vowels
And consonants into rolling
Rumbles. My ears
Receive it all, like
Symphonic speech,
Punctuated
By

A baby’s wail,

The Universal language
Of all humanity.
An immigrant carries
A backpack cooler
To a family picnic,
It is covered in
Stars and Stripes.

None of us are American.

The train carrying mysteries
To the Canadian border,
Rumbles under the pedestrian
Bridge. It blows its horn
Like a wave hello
To the watchers. They stand
Peering through the chain link
Holes, like fish coming up
For air, lips pushing through
Fence, eyes keenly zeroing.
The rush.
Then gone.
Back to beach. To rocks.
To shells buried, cracked,
Dead, still alive.
Mountains watch us,
Their peaks sentries. Guarded.
Guarding the open sea, a
Partition between our hearts
And the vastness they know
Our limited consciousness
May not be able to see.
See but not see.
None of us are what
The other believes.

We are each other.
English now. Italian.

Human.

Emily C.

7.30.17

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In These Dreams

I dreamed of the words
I’d never speak

tucked in blankets of apathy
turning in throes
wild and free, wild and me

under stars I painted in my own sky

a black canvas
only meant for light

old night
brought new consciousness

rattled into being it spoke
from a beyond I could not reach

could not hear, would not see
will never know
but here, but now

in these dreams

 

~ Emily C.

7.29.17

One More Light

“One More Light” ~ Linkin Park
Should’ve stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can’t keep

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
And you’re angry, and you should be, it’s not fair
Just ’cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it, isn’t there

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

Well I do

This is for Chester. Chester Bennington of Linkin Park took his own life last Thursday what would have been Chris Cornell’s 53rd birthday. He had been devastated by the loss of Chris, a close friend of his. He was godfather to Chris Jr. and sang Hallelujah at Chris Cornell’s funeral.

It’s tragic beyond words. Chester had a wife and six children. He had battled so much trauma in his life and LP was just putting out their latest record from where this amazing song comes.  I get the impression that Chris’ death was what tipped his scales. He said he couldn’t imagine a life without him.

I don’t know what the answer is…I  just know we need to do what we can to reach out to those who are in the dark and struggling.  If you or someone you know is depressed and possibly having thoughts of self harm or suicide, please don’t hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, confidential and 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

Layers ~ collab with Wet Bliss

When you look in the mirror do you like what you see
Or do you avoid your reflection all-together like me
Knowing you can’t face realities’ deeper inspections
And I’m not talking about a clearer complexion

Layers behind rough cut glass edge hold fear
What at once is glazed over becomes glaringly clear
Scrub the surface but nothing much changes within
In order to find soul’s blemishes, gaze under that skin

Come now bring the magnification near, my dear
There’s nothing to fear, if you’re willing to hear
Your innermost thoughts and needs without regrets
To address what’s missing and learn self-respect

In order to heal you have to allow yourself to feel
True happiness is a part of deal that you can’t simply steal
Peel that mask and dust the lashes, clear way for sight
And see…you are beautiful in all your imperfect vulnerability

 

~ Wet Bliss & Poet Girl Em (in italics)

 

****

Thank you to Wet Bliss for offering to collab a while back! It was at the start of my labyrinthitis struggles so it got stalled, but this is one of two poems we have to share with you. Bliss tossed out some powerful suggestions that resonate with self-confidence, authenticity and vulnerability.  We hope you enjoy them!

And do check her page out! She is a lovely human and a wonderful poetess!

One Thousand ~ Thank You!

a heart a thousand smiles deep
ricochets its passion in a thousand pings
wall to wall written by hands
leaving ruby messages from a thousand lands

a thousand embraces from faces
reaching through wireless abyss
tender stroke of phantom fingers
assure a restless mind that wanders

a calling called forth in a thousand tomes
fertilized by your generous love
cradled in a thousand arms
this home, my heart will gladly roam

~ Emily C.

7.23.17

******

This is a small tribute to you, my readers. I have been in a writing lull given the distractions in my life that have demanded my focus, but I want to recognize you all today as I have surpassed the 1000 follower mark.  Deepest gratitude for your tremendous support and loyalty!

I am giving my brain the rest it needs while I work on the body and my continued recovery. I’m taking it one gradual day at a time, but I am definitely improved from where I have been over the last several months. I’m no longer clinging to walls when I walk through the house, but I still have a ways to go before I get myself to where I need to be. I’m seeing my vestibular therapist regularly and doing the assigned balance exercises. And as brutally basic and slow as they are (getting in and out of a chair, walking laps in a hallway, slow tai chi movements, walking…), they are what my brain needs to begin the rewiring so that some day….some day…maybe I’ll be able to run again, ride a bike, and swim again.

Do me a favor…use your body. You never know if a day may come when you suddenly can’t. My life changed 7 years ago after a bad cold and a virus in my inner ear. I haven’t been 100% since. But, dammit, if I haven’t lived the hell out of life the best I could anyway. Now, I just have to lay the foundation so I can live the way I am happiest. Never take a moment for granted. Never. And never judge anyone with a chronic health challenge you can’t see or understand. Someday it may be you. Be that person you’d want to be there for you.

Thanks, again, friends. I’m honored by your presence here. I never expected it. I certainly never expected to write over a thousand poems in a year.

I don’t want to lose momentum, I just needed to come up for air.

On that note.  Would you be interested in a book from me?

Tears of Thorns

tears of thorns fell from eyes
— a cry for all that left her —
a saline sigh 
for souls gone by

a wail for those departed.

a guttural scream,
for the nothing in the wake
of their wakes —

as hard as it needed to be
as long as it took to heal
goddammit

don’t lend your hand
unless you don’t mind

getting wet
or punctured
by the dripping pain

lend me your silence

…and…
(…and until…)
I breathe again

my heart on offer
for a limited time
to a worthy bidder
capable of navigating
these

tears flowing from ravine eyes
that carried curdling current
far from its nascent origin
to burgeoning
bursting
walls
of loss

 

~ Emily C.

7.22.17

Summer’s Chill

winter took my mind
away when summer came
dark where light had shined
mind took form of snow

twisted nooks and crannies
matter dusted cobweb ice
summoning spring in silence
still meditation dictates

whether conscious or distracted
whether forward or back
(how much can I feel
if I hold my breath?)

winter took my mind
frosted smiles in jackfrost ferns
shaped in frozen fronds of time
captured sunny summer spells

lip corners curled
perpetual outer shell
confuse the outer world
won’t figure my seasons out

winter took my mind
out to play today
wormhole field trip, I
will gladly slide away

(how much can I feel
if I hold my breath?)
wait for winter winds
summer’s chill
to thaw

 

~ Emily C.

6.19.17