Rain Stick Serenades

I lie in bed

and listen

to the pain falling

down my shattered spine

in rain stick serenades

and sober regrets,

asynchronous time

and crescendoes that sing

notes of memories

that become warnings

to heed

when the fire dies down,

when the days warm,

and these bones heal

once more

~ Em C. 12.22.18

*the type of poem one writes when they’ve severely jacked up their neck and back, like me…lying supine listening to rain and pain.

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Pains in the Neck

So this is what I’ve been dealing with this week…

On Friday night we had a freak windstorm that hit after dark, something the local news did not warn enough about (and others they over warn, right?).

The 85 foot Western Hemlock in the backyard decided to uproot itself and land on the neighbor’s garage. It was an outwardly healthy tree and there is not fault on this side, but insurance would not cover the tree removal because it did not touch the house. At least the affected neighbor has a reasonable deductible.

Thank God it went that way, because I may not be here if it had a different angle.

Just bought this house from the landlord two months ago (in a surprise purchase when she decided she wanted to sell – whole other level of stress and chaos that kept me from be active on WP). Lost my dear kitty one week before signing final papers. Talk about wildly swinging emotions. It’s been a helluva year. I’m ready for January.

On top of this endless chaos, I snapped something in my cervical spine on Sunday. My back had been mad about overdoing yard work for the last month and it finally told me just how bad. I have been in incapacitating pain all week. It’s trying to heal, but I inevitably move the wrong way or sleep on it wrong and everything is back on fire. It will get there, but it will take time.

Meanwhile, there’s another severe windstorm happening right now as I type, and I am trying to hide in the house in places where other threatening trees can’t get me.

The positives: still alive. Have lots of firewood, had them cut stools, platters, and swags for me, still alive, more sun in my garden, and still alive.

It was a beautiful graceful tree with lovely shade and I will miss her. I will not miss the pains in my neck.

Merry Christmas! 🎄🙄🥴

Walking in an upside down world

walking in an upside down world

deceptive calm before the storm

pregnant sky’s belly roiling

the fish seek their holes

.

time chokes on repeat

a skip in the record of space

passing smiles born to defeat

feet run a going-nowhere pace

.

tick but no tock

wait until it opens wide

catching on the devil’s hook

nowhere to run,
nowhere to hide

~ Em C. 12.14.18

 

{photo by me}

To ask the world

To ask the world:
is love too much to ask?

has hate defined our past
so much that we forgot
human is human
is human?

the skin, religion, gender we wear
clothe red hearts that beat the same

that cry and grieve the same
that hope and fear the same
that love and die
the same…
with a kiss, a last gasp

and here we are fighting. 
for what?

aren’t we
neighbors on this big rock?
under the same sky,
wishing on the same
stars light, stars bright?

how i wish someday

peace would prevail;
one vote
at a time.

~ Em C.
12.12.18