Rain Stick Serenades

I lie in bed

and listen

to the pain falling

down my shattered spine

in rain stick serenades

and sober regrets,

asynchronous time

and crescendoes that sing

notes of memories

that become warnings

to heed

when the fire dies down,

when the days warm,

and these bones heal

once more

~ Em C. 12.22.18

*the type of poem one writes when they’ve severely jacked up their neck and back, like me…lying supine listening to rain and pain.

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Walking in an upside down world

walking in an upside down world

deceptive calm before the storm

pregnant sky’s belly roiling

the fish seek their holes

.

time chokes on repeat

a skip in the record of space

passing smiles born to defeat

feet run a going-nowhere pace

.

tick but no tock

wait until it opens wide

catching on the devil’s hook

nowhere to run,
nowhere to hide

~ Em C. 12.14.18

 

{photo by me}

Retrospective

retrospective gazing
at a life’s night that lost
itself in parchment phases,
my head

turned your memory
into wormhole scrapbooks
mocking long-lost destiny,
lessons learned one-by-one
in glue stick plastering,
mapping glossy mistakes
in page-numbered time,

the cold sorcery of pictures
posted in behind-the-back
finger-crossing finery,
dressing up camera ready
fragile smiles
with never-to-be dreams,
soon cracked to shattered bits
by the hammer
of reality

~ Emily C.
12.8.18

I Was Color

I warned you I was color.
play unbridled.

that I was bright light and moonlit dreams.

I warned you
that my energy
was a star
that maps could not chart.

winding-road runner,
seeker of everything far.

cool milk down the throat
butter melting on the tongue
salted chocolate laughs
and heat-seeker heart

I stopped flying
so I could meet you on the ground.
a stunned robin lost in your brush,
I amputated my wings on your dead love.

I am the spark

you need,
yet deny
suffocate
stifle
until snuffed.

I warned you I would live.

I didn’t know
it would kill me.

~ Em C.
12.5.18

December Arrives (Asleep in its Coach)

Awaiting by lone rural crossroads
near fields where I planted my seeds
not but a handful of months ago
now death marks these plots with weeds

December arrives asleep in its coach
ushered by dark steeds a-clatter
their manes matted with felled fall
jowls dripping strawberry summer

Not a wink nor a nod does it offer
no notice of where it has been
a nudge will not loosen its slumber
a clap will not awaken it free

Its usual somber somnolence
ices my veins with a chill
despite its expected arrival
never prepared am I for it still

Offers of hearth, soup, and blanket
my wary guest eschews them all
it wants nothing of creature comforts
but wants everything alive
as last year’s toll

~ Emily C.
12.1.18

Roses and Crows

roses and rainfall
crows and the moon
steps and shudders
wind blows through

made myself forgotten
away with this world
huddled in home
tuned out the herds

and in the trains
on ocean coastlines
whispering horns
awaken my eyes

in dead of night
in life of day
roses and rainfall
i find time delayed

i part my sorrows
like waves in gray
sinking in depths
never to pray

made myself gone
left what i knew
shed the old
to grow the new

i build my layers
as fire demands
as flickering life
i re-strike my match

and greet the crow
who flies to the moon
i offer him roses
in rain he does croon

unbothered by weather
by wind or by storm
he, happy alone
i, too

one difference between us
he has his home
a murder awaiting
i, have none

~ Emily C.

9.16.18

Shade

i sit with this silence
alone with sleeping wind’s breath

the shade has grown long
slowly covering day’s nodding head

wrapped in vines’ creeping tendrils
i dreamed of night time

cradled by bees’ beating wings
nestled in blossoming thyme

sun-kissed melancholy
summer’s height reached

the savoring of a slipping moment
toes tickling tile as floor creaked

alone is not always lonely
sometimes it’s beautifully free

as a hummingbird dips and zips
sipping sugar water empty

my friends the crow, the woodpecker
the dragonfly — they know me

as humans come, promise, go
i prefer to be let be

here in the shade of night
alone with sunset’s last sigh

i sit with this silence
i close my eyes

~ Em C. 8.5.18