So Frame Me

wilted like the plucked flower
off a tree, dying on the stem
color bright in death throes
one last glorious show

you kept me in a book
shaken and mistook
flattened by your game
you stole from me my name

claimed trophy of your escapades
prize of love commandeered
wanted poster memorialized
my heart dehydrated in time

fragile now, these petals crack
veins that once beat blood back
responding to your poisonous voice
lured to an end not of choice

so frame me in herbarium
categorize me in collection
then take me out to share
after all, why else am I here

 

~ Emily C.

6.8.17

Fingers on the Mirror

Fingers on the mirror trace memories drip by drip

they fall like tears that succumb to the years

the gravity of gravity sinking heart to a puddle

too numb to cry, let the glass do it for me

I spy the scars on my naked frame

the ones you gave me blow by blow, word by word

taken like a champ, suffered like silence — mute

inside boils in fear, but shame is anger’s foil

cracked glass cuts fingertips that point blame

insult to injury when your lies sought facts to tame

make me the scapegoat to your disordered mind

never taking credit — the destruction you made mine,

trickster king creates the insanity then claims sanity,

the world duped, but I know…I will always know,

the sink overflows with my mistaken belief

that your love was remotely real, your act legit

let the truth clear the mirror, I’ll gladly bleed

to remember what I learned, to never again plead

nor beg for the likes of you, go on to fool the next girl

for I am all I need

~ Em C.

3.6.17

Keep Walking

For six long years you had me fooled
love bombed by you, vicious, cruel
the facade of you nothing but fake
my soul was yours to devour, intake

Trusted your words, but actions forsake
your intentions selfish, your heart empty
but the show you put on, anyone would buy
I fell for it, hook, line and sinker, goodbye…

Figuring out the psychopath behind the mask,
you changed when you saw that I know, in fact
you are nothing but a narcissistic megalomaniac
feeding on vulnerable empaths, genuine souls alike

The fuel to your egotistical emotional vampire desire
you couldn’t handle me finally calling you out, demanding
change, chance after chance I gave that I shouldn’t
wish I’d killed it long ago before I sustained the bruises

So happy you found another you, she’s your spitting image
– sharing your mirror, in love with yourselves, your pretense,
the lies, at first it hurt, but in the end I thank her for helping
me see the truth about you, the irony is…
she may just deliver a taste of your own medicine.

And thank you. Thank you for the lesson,
I’ll never repeat. I can spot a ‘you’ a mile away.

And now,

I keep walking.

Smarter, stronger.

 

~ Emily Clapper

8.7.16

Koi

Restless sleep
slick with sweat
tossing turning
dripping wet
peel back sheets
stir awake
unsure of what
ideas to make,
nocturnal stories
in my mind
trying to reconcile
what’s lost to time,
you, there…
the face I want
to forget forever
perched to haunt
as if scars healed,
nothing changed,
but nothing feels
at all the same
except you there,
me crouched low
by pond’s edge
finding koi below
swirling in dark
water, drawing smile
upon my heart
yet knowing I can’t
forgive you now,
or ever, the truth
is hard to accept
my subconscious
protests my waking
brain that knows
better to refrain

from visiting
koi ponds
in the rain

 

“Koi” ~ AUDIO voice recording on SoundCloud

~ by Emily Clapper

 

4.22.16

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