Some Fights

some fights are silent
some roars you can’t hear
some nights leave scars
some days birth fear

courage comes each sunrise
bravery in the dark
while you are sleeping pretty
I’ll be swinging a punch

in dreams, I plan my attack
which way to focus aim
how my feet will land
in morning’s sweet refrain

you run about your day
in automated normalcy
you think you know my way
while I confront my enemy

fear may fright my veins
and keep me on the cliff
but willingly I’ll face
my fate and my what-ifs

for only by standing fast
where I feel my very worst
can my faulty feet
learn to walk once again

some fights are mere moments
some roars are salty tears
some nights bring peace
some days birth falling heroes 

 

~ Emily C. 10.19.17

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This Dark Night

crow stares with crescent moon eye
surveying the night and me
perched on a dead branch he spies
my steps taken rather tentatively

skeleton leaves frozen like me
cracking under foot they crumble
alone — no one can hear chattering
of my teeth, or my incoherent mumble

while I wander in this black evening
searching for a way out of this trap
I can’t help but feel blood curdling
and hairs on my arms begin to react

caw! and I jump with a startle
whoo! and I jolt to the right
meow! and I trip on the cat
squeak! and I curse this dark night

but no, these were not my enemies
not my tormentors nor my fears
rather my furry friendlies
saving me a spot to rest my rear

up to the tree I climbed
dead leaves my new cozy nest
blinking down my crescent moon eyes
to spy who might walk by next

 

~ Emily C. 10.13.17

Tears of Thorns

tears of thorns fell from eyes
— a cry for all that left her —
a saline sigh 
for souls gone by

a wail for those departed.

a guttural scream,
for the nothing in the wake
of their wakes —

as hard as it needed to be
as long as it took to heal
goddammit

don’t lend your hand
unless you don’t mind

getting wet
or punctured
by the dripping pain

lend me your silence

…and…
(…and until…)
I breathe again

my heart on offer
for a limited time
to a worthy bidder
capable of navigating
these

tears flowing from ravine eyes
that carried curdling current
far from its nascent origin
to burgeoning
bursting
walls
of loss

 

~ Emily C.

7.22.17

Good Morning Glory

Good morning glory…
blinding white sun,
vines entwined round flowers
choking life undone

by nyctinastic summer blooms 
…you rise despite our hands
that yank and tug and pull,
removing you, none can.

But something must die
for you to grow.
Something must suffocate
for you to show.

Spread your slithering tentacles,
grabbing at anything;
all disappears
beneath beauty’s smothering —

A smile for you
is a smile for death,
for kill or be killed…
summer’s Coliseum contest.

 

~ Emily C.

6.24.17

No Answer

darkness rumbles in distant realms.

inner ear hears mountains moans.

taking steps on trampoline floor,

shaking when the wind shifts core.

thrown to the abyss against my wish…

…these walls have been carved before

their messages clear and clearly old,

alone I fall amongst long lost,

my screams only heard by sediment;

it crumbles in my turbulent wake,

but all I feel is my own cold breath,

exhaling gales in earth-scoring notes,

writing my story read by none,

except the stars when entropy wins,

when all returns to nothingness.

why does life matter?

I ask whom exactly?

no answer comes back.

all is black.

~ Emily C.

6.22.17

Uncaught

I was the one you loved
but oh God, I couldn’t bear its truth —
to know you would
love me through
the worst

when only the best
is what I wanted to give you
when my weakest
was all I had

how could I fall
the way I had to
how it was coming, like it or not,
knowing you would
want to catch me

you see
I am uncatchable, 
unsavable

you, the warrior knight
never did I want to hurt you
through my hurt
through my certain demise
through not letting you love me

(better you don’t —

better you find a reason
to hate me)

as I will love you
from safe distance
far from where my pain

might taint the treasure

of your heart

~ Emily C.

6.21.17

Still

now my eyes can only see cosmos
when they are closed
visions of eternity design frescos
in spinning stars

behind cloak of sight
comfort in their disarray
I am in control of my night
the only place chaos is calm

to park my mind for a spell
lose myself, willingly
…would it be so bad
if I left this hell?

hell that tries to pass for life
all that is steady evades
mocking my drifting strife
grasping in vain, slipping away


nothing is as it seems
but when eyes
planted shut within a pretty place

are closed so very tight:

I could be still
while
cosmos swirls


~ Emily C.

6.20.17