We, Ourselves

Found you hiding in my box of memories
like you never left me black and blue

your voice as clear as the day
you said goodbye

laugh as warm as our flirtation
the never-were childhood sweethearts
a past we wanted, framed imagination

I held it in my shaking hands
broken into pieces of dead dreams

that yellowed over time
our story’s type fading
you see,

…that was always the problem

with writing ahead

instead
of one
l e t t e r
at a time

we decided the ending before we began

we wrote ourselves a lie
that…my god,
could have been truth
someday

but only if we
ourselves,

believed

 

 

~ Em C.

3.31.17

Dealer’s Hand

She can’t cry

or won’t

she’s bottled up inside

rotting from the core out

festering emotions

kept from exploding

waiting to implode

held in for too long

built up like a ticking bomb

not sure how she’s going on

but she goes on

another tear squelched

another year’s cards dealt

dealer’s hand cruel

no chance to win the duel

but she still plays the game

anyway

why

because

it’s all she knows how to do

now if she only knew

how to cry

before it kills her

vacant

alone

denied

 

~ E

11.11.16

Painted

Wind chatters my bones
calls your lost spirit forth,
you,
coded in my colors
a part of me, you warm me

Fate determined such
when it connected us
no option for no,
that magnetic flow…

Drawn,
our old souls,
fellow bedfellows
our auras blended
in universe’s palette

We
painted
love

framed it –
set it prominently
upon the wall,

Stepped back to observe
the observers’ impressions,
opinions,
their judgments…
and while they were distracted

We
painted
passion,
played in rebellion

and when we parted
we knew, when the winds came

there was no staying apart
for we were,
and always will be:

art.

~ Emily Clapper

10.16.16

 

 

Halves

 

Half a poem
Half a bottle of wine
Half a heart
Half my time wasted
Half a thought
Half a life without you
Half way gone
Half of me here
Half of me there
Half of me with you
Half my words spared
Half of what I want to say
Half of what I feel
Half of me destroyed
Half of me appeals
Half of light is gone
Half my spark fizzles
Half of what I imagine
Half of what could be
Half a poem for you, and…

All my halves

All my love

All my soul

 

~ E

6.13.16

Shipwrecked

We packed our bags late one night
leaving far away to destination out of sight
carrying our hopes and dreams
packed to the brim with love it seemed

That morning we launched our ship from shore
hand in hand we sought out to seek more
ride the waves of destiny’s storm
knew our souls were far different than norm

The weather rocked our searching bow
with moments of death defying shows
the thunder booming above, heavy,
the lightning strikes straight to eyes

Blinded by truth, by love and lies exposed
we shut our eyes in hopes it would go
but nothing could clear the searing images
of what we saw deep in each other’s visages

Burned there by light beyond retina’s capacity
to hold all that we saw and wished to forget
we fumbled to steer our battered ship
grasping with hands that would only slip

At some point the water swamped our deck
we struggled in vain to clear all the wet
for savage waves would only crash harder
leaving pools accumulating up to our necks

Bobbing now in our self-sought sea of despair
we spy land not far – and yet so incredibly far
to get there we must abandon each other
and fight for survival in order to recover

With a blow of a kiss through the ocean mist
the boat began to sink, along with our hearts
we parted ways and aimed for shore
leaving all behind, while hoping for more

With luck we would see each other again
someday, dry and lying on sand under sun
a farewell to what was, we made it this far

and someday to kiss

under far looming star

~ Emily C.

6.2.16

************************

Wow. Trying to collect myself so I can write this last bit…  I have not had a poem affect me this much while writing in a long while. My heart is pounding, and I am choked up near tears. Clearly this feels personal, which I was not anticipating. I’m literally shaking…

This was a poem request topic from Meg, who asked for “Shipwrecked”, literally or figuratively…I think I got both in there. I really hope you like it Meg! I think I needed to write this…  Much love.

Please check out Meg, she is an instant favorite of mine and the sweetest nicest woman.

And if you’d like to suggest a topic for me, by all means, please do. 🙂

(Photo: Emily C., Ocean Shores, WA 2015, yes, I drew the heart in the sand even…)

Vice

 

I
want you
like I crave
caffeine in the morning
how I want to be
fucked in evening, light just right
as I barely crack eyes to sight
you growl my name in deepest low tones
calling me to you, I lose all my soul
as I roll high under your thundering waves in crests
I peak time and again, spikes of dopamine high you give
my drug I desire whenever you are absent, even more when not
I will seek you out in dark corners, track your scent – radar love
my passion builds to deafening roar, my fix, my tainted veins with potent you
I burst in full body explosion, orgasm your vice pursued, fuck me while I shudder

~ Emily Clapper

5.29.16

*lines start at 1 word/line, then 2/line, up to 15…building, crescendoing…orgasming…