Where You Used To Be

Where you used to be
where I used to bleed
burned to a scar
empty I am here
empty I am far

Where you used to be
chasm like the deep
echoes in the dark
shut out my heart
shut in my heart

Where you used to be
what I used to see
negatives of you
black, white, and blue
black, red, and blue

Where you used to be
how I used to love
etched petroglyphs
stories long past
stories now past

Where you used to be
where I bled out
brittle tissue cracks
shadows of laughs
shadows of love

Where you used to be
where I used to bleed
cut open the scar
bleeding I am here
bleeding I am free

~ Emily C.

4.8.17

Again, dancers

Again, the doors parted. Again, dancers.

The courtyard overgrown, the music a buzz of ambient energy, 
equalized for optimal balance. 

Bass vibrated the soul of my feet, stirred the sole of my being.

I felt the air of a thousand exhales expire my lungs, 
replaced by the sweet anticipation of new air for this audience of one. 

A flower of bodies gilded in golden gowns 
with black embroidery, spun in a circle 
under a twilight sky of summer peach and berry blue,
just for me. 

Taking turns as they turn, they arch 
— dark-haired beauty revolved around my heart — 
their eyes using me as their single reference point. 

I felt my face light, rapt by the seduction. 
Hands holding the doors wide open,
leaning chest first, one foot in 

— my witness to their blooming, 
a moment of stillness meeting 
a moment of movement.

I am in my own concrete courtyard now. 
Alone — save the ivy, the arches, the ruins.  

This time,
I am dancing.  

~ Em C.

 

*********

This was a dream I had last night. Second dancing “voyeur” dream I’ve had this year. The other I wrote about here.

Not sure what my subconscious is telling me. But I felt free in this dream…

Nomad

nomad
dissecting earth
into vanishing patterns
geometric footsteps
etch hexagons
spirals
into slipping crust
wading groin deep
in labradorite cracks
iridescent shimmer shines
blues and greens
like your eyes
that eye the sky
wondering is it your next
unexplored terrain
untethered domain
every star
a city
every map pin
is home

ditch
the compass
it misguides the guide
what lies outside
must be found
first inside
close your mind
stop time
stop predicting
breathe and point
you will find
what you need awaits
in unknown formations
where you need
you won’t know
until your feet land
until your wings
spread
go

~ Em C.

3.28.17

Free As A Bird

And one more Beatles. I’m in a music zone…

I remember when this song came out in 1995…it was released as a “new” song on the Beatles One album. I guess this was hiding in John Lennon’s home demo recordings.

The harmonium is perfectly ethereal for this ethereal song and its chord changes.

***

Free As A Bird ~ The Beatles

Girl on the Bridge

girl on the bridge
with a view to die for

(how many times crossed
without a pause…?)

she strives to finally inhale
curls her toes around cold cement

spreads her bare arms, dancing
her fingers in the electric air

below, the breathing city buzzing,
coming…going…living people

(can they see me?)

houses puffing out clouds
boats under raised bridges sail

bikes like red blood cells
their arterial pulse – in her heart – beats

her gaze kisses honeyed horizon
her soul
leaps

~ Emily C.

3.4.17

For All Beauty Is Violent

Some see only black

in the cosmos

I see nothing but stars

communicating

in death throes 

for all beauty is violent

creation / destruction

yin / yang

birth / death

pulse / flatline

yeses / nos

I bide my time

until the cold sleep

I’ll float deep

and so fucking far,

you’ll think I’m a star

you’ll name me yours,

of course, 

never mind my feelings.

make a wish

blow a kiss…?

kiss me goodbye then

for my chain is cut

by my own heart

free, watch me fly

just a lone speck 

of elusive dark energy

forcing 

the expansion

of the universe

 

~ Em C

2.20.17