One More Light

“One More Light” ~ Linkin Park
Should’ve stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can’t keep

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
And you’re angry, and you should be, it’s not fair
Just ’cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it, isn’t there

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

Well I do

This is for Chester. Chester Bennington of Linkin Park took his own life last Thursday what would have been Chris Cornell’s 53rd birthday. He had been devastated by the loss of Chris, a close friend of his. He was godfather to Chris Jr. and sang Hallelujah at Chris Cornell’s funeral.

It’s tragic beyond words. Chester had a wife and six children. He had battled so much trauma in his life and LP was just putting out their latest record from where this amazing song comes.  I get the impression that Chris’ death was what tipped his scales. He said he couldn’t imagine a life without him.

I don’t know what the answer is…I  just know we need to do what we can to reach out to those who are in the dark and struggling.  If you or someone you know is depressed and possibly having thoughts of self harm or suicide, please don’t hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, confidential and 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

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Chris

*Update: Did some fine tuning on his face and added the light reflections in his hair this morning. It’s as finished as I know how to make it without any art training.

*****
Words have been hard to harness lately with the chaos in my life. But tonight, I attempted to draw again.

I don’t draw, though. I’m not trained and this may be only my third serious attempt in my life. Chris Cornell of Soundgarden…one of the most beautiful people to have lived.

Hope it passes.

Em

*I saw my vestibular therapist this week and finally have a set of exercises I have to to daily. Most acute symptoms have tapered but my brain still reacts to triggers and I have a long way to go. At least I’m trending the right way. Today was pretty good, relatively speaking. Miss you all and I will ease back as I can.

Blow Up the Outside World

 

Blow Up the Outside World ~ Soundgarden

 

Nothing seems to kill me no matter how hard I try
Nothing is closing my eyes
Nothing can beat me down for your pain or delight
And nothing seems to break me
No matter how hard I fall
Nothing can break me at all
Not one for giving up though not invincible I know

I’ve givin’ everything I need
I’d give you everything I own
I’d give in if it could at least be ours alone
I’ve given everything I could
To blow it to hell and gone
Burrow down in and blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside world

Someone tried to tell me something
Don’t let the world bring you down?
Nothing will do me in before I do myself
So save it for your own and the ones you can help

I’ve givin’ everything I need
I’d give you everything I own
I’d give in if it could at least be ours alone
I’ve given everything I could
To blow it to hell and gone
Burrow down in and blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside world

Want to make it understood
Wanting though I never would
Trying though I know it’s wrong
Blowing it to hell and gone
Wishing though I never could

Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside world

Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside world
Blow up the outside

Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside
Blow up the outside

Finale

Standing on Emerald city’s edge
rainbow curtain above my head
taking long breaths in…
I lose my balance
I have forgotten my ground
my toes grip granite in vain

your voice my invisible net
saves me from inevitable death
— your voice, oh, that voice
heard now in the call of the gull
the whisper of a sail
echoing on the wings of wind
that tickles my skin deep to spirit

swaying, I flail
failing to trust in life, in love
but there you are again
catching me at sunset
rocking me still
singing me filled

there you are one more time
catching me in song
until the stars light the sky
like clockwork revealing
your diamond soul etched high

the night won’t say goodbye
even if you are only
as tangible as rolling tide
as graspable as fleeting air
as permanent as a passing cloud
flirting at the firmament

Saved by your song,
I’ll be here all night
to witness your flight
your last soundcheck
your final finale:
behind the rainbow
you bow

the city will applaud
in the wake of the bay

forever

~ Emily C.

6.30.17

 

*Friday’s sunset in Seattle. Photography by Sigma Sreedharan Photography.

This is How You Walk On

Hi friends. So, I’m still fighting this chest cold thing, going on week two. I’m quite foggy headed and dizzy so my ability to handle screen time for writing and reading is pretty limited. I did manage to get out to see a movie yesterday and discovered this song that is on the soundtrack. I gave it a go, but I’m still quite coughy and cracking in the voice. Turned out okay, I think…considering. 🙂

This song is one of those songs that when you hear it, you want him to be singing to you. One of those songs that speaks to exactly what you need someone to say: “I’m here. I won’t promise things will be okay. Life can suck. But, I’m here.”  So, in case you need someone to sing/say this to you, I dedicate it to you.

❤ Em

“This is How We Walk On” ~ Gary Lightbody (from Snow Patrol)

A new wind is blowing through these streets
Those cold days are history to us
I’m not saying times they won’t get tough
We still got each other that’s enough

I know life ain’t simple for you, dear
But I’m here and I’m not going anywhere
I’m not saying “I know how you feel”
I just know that I can help you, dear

Don’t lose your mind
Don’t lose you good heart
Just know this time
That you’ll be waking up
In all these better days

This is how you walk on
This is where you belong
And I’m not saying
This isn’t where you’ll stay
But this is how you walk on
This is how you walk on

The warm light of the evening sings so sweet
Cold grass underneath your dancing feet
This simple things mean more than I can say
These moments make up for all past our days

Don’t lose your mind
Don’t lose you good heart
Just know this time
That you’ll be waking up
In all these better days

This is how you walk on
This is where you belong
And I’m not saying
This isn’t where you’ll stay
But this is how you walk on
This is how you walk on

This is how you walk on
This is where you belong
And I’m not saying
This isn’t where you’ll stay
But this is how you walk on
This is how you walk on

This is how you walk on
This is where you belong
And I’m not saying
This isn’t where you’ll stay
But this is how you walk on
This is how you walk on

Spun

you spun
with a fire that blinded the sun
words flew like daggers glinting with hints of love
landing in soft tissue, piercing shrill notes
twisting three-hundred-sixty
degrees

you weaved
like a master of musical tapestry
take that minor and slip into a major key
dancing on ladders of scales, out of our reach
we gape-mouthed,
breathe

you teased
with low baritone growl seducing slow
take it up high with a silky string of flow
soul-shuddering soulful croon
there was no where to go, but
other worlds

far beyond,
we flew with you, never looking down
lighting our own lamp, into black expanse,
face-to-face in the dark we embraced
spoken in songs we counted on you
to sing

~ Emily C.

5.26.17

Walk With Me

Walk with me
in the letting go
where wild dogs roam
and banshees howl

walk with me
until the moon finally sleeps
under the raging canopy
of a night
a life gone awry
awash in fiery regrets
we can’t possibly correct

now

walk with me
as we cry knowing you are gone
but our hands still grasp
holding on, holding on

walk with me while the song
says goodbye in your silent voice
that sung its final show
screamed its final note

a solo guitar strums in the wind
your eyes as dark as time
still see one last sun
my heart as good as gone

walk with me
in our letting go
letting go

let go

gone

~ Emily C.

5.25.17